Within the Shadow Light ~ 1996

• Last Chance
  The Vampire, within your soul
  Thieves, everything you own
     this is your last chance to run
     if you wish to see the rising sun
  Nosferatu, bleed us no more.
  This creature, we must learn to abhore.
     this is your last chance to run
     if you wish to see the rising sun
  The blood, that flows through your veins,
  will warm, to the taste of the same.
     this is your last chance to run
     if you wish to see the rising sun
  My child, keep with you your faith,
  It's only then, will you ever feel safe.
     this is your last chance to run
     if you wish to see the rising sun
  
• Leave!
  I wish that you'd go and leave me alone.
  If you stay, I'll go crazy or insane.
  Why are you still here you get in the way
  I havn't any time for you so go...
  Leave, leave me alone I must be alone
  tonight and forever...
    But you keep on coming around here
    showing me your insecure fears.
    I wish you'd dry up these tears
    they won't get you back inside here.
  I can not go on like this any more.
  We do not belong together no more.
  Stay away don't you come to me no more.
  Now you make me wish that you were dead.
  I would leave if I heard what I just said.
    But you keep on coming around here
    showing me your insecure fears.
    I wish you'd dry up these tears
    they won't get you back inside here.
    They won't get you back inside here
    your sorrowful immature fears
    I laugh at your pitiful tears
    cause they won't get you back inside here.
  
• Crazy
  The situation begins in a white room.
  They hold you down and tell you that your confused.
  You can not understand what they are saying.
  they put you with a man who starts his praying.
  You're sceaming in yourmind from all your worries
  you run around all day in such a hurry
  apologize to everyone - so sorry
  no one hears a word you say - the same old story.
  You think that you're invulnerable - you're shaking
  put your hands to your ears - you're breaking.
  Live a little in a world of roses.
  where everyone around you snubs their noses.
     You are so crazy.
      (they are so... we're all so...I am so...)
      You must be crazy.
  
• Crucified
  Your laughing at me from your bed of deceipt.
  Pictures of you are making me weep.
     Your tearing from me my soul and my pride.
     With nails in my flesh, I'm crucified.
  Look at me now there's blood at my feet.
  You're nightmarish memory keeps haunting my sleep.
  I wish that you would let me rest in peace
  for the pain in my heart there is no relief.
     Your tearing from me my soul and my pride.
     With nails in my flesh, I'm crucified.
  There's a river of feeling that's flooding my soul
  Pain in me is growing, yes, you're taking your toll.
     Your tearing from me my soul and my pride.
     With nails in my flesh, I'm crucified.
  
• I Have to Run
  I came down from the mountain and looked upon the sea,
  saw all the people crying and I watch a saddening scene.
  A woman in the streets was standing all alone,
  a tear came to her eyes, was she a child that hadn't grown?
     I must run away. I have to run away from it all,
     I got to get away. I have to run
  I saw a tired old sailor still standing tall and proud,
  but when I looked in his eyes, he got lost into the crowd.
  Next a saw a child with both hands up in the air,
  when she asked me for my money, she made me cry out in despair.
     I must run away. I have to run away from it all,
     I got to get away. I have to run
  All the homeless people still living on the streets.
  All the desperate people caught and lost in their defeat.
  I want to help them all but so many are in need
  so many faceless people, it's my life they will bleed.
     I must run away. I have to run away from it all,
     I got to get away. I have to run.
  
• In the Graveyard
    I went out to the graveyard one night
    Just to get away from it all.
    I went out to the graveyard one night
    Now listen close to what I saw.
  The night was dark and it was cold.
  moonlight came down through the trees
  now I was nervous and all alone
  when from out of nowhere came this scream.
  I did not know if I should run
  or follow this scream from where it came
  It was then when I first saw her face,
  her sharp white teeth and eyes of pain.
  I was running in the graveyard when
  when I tripped and fell onto a grave.
  when I awoke they were all around
  vampires zombies ghouls and wraiths.
    I went out to the graveyard one night
    Just to get away from it all.
    I went out to the graveyard one night
    Now listen close to what I saw.
  The night was dark and it was cold.
  The fog moved in without a sound.
  there were vampires zombies and ghouls of hell
  when they searched for me I was never found.
  Never found alive.
  In the graveyard tonight.
  
• Tomorrow's Never End
  There's nothing left here inside.
  My pain I no longer hide.
  A badge I wear with pride
  A symbol of the pain in my life.
    Sorrow is my friend
    Tomorrow's never end.
  This is me by myself
  and this is my cry for help.
  I've been without for so long
  and I know I'm just not that strong.
    Sorrow is my friend
    Tomorrow's never end.
  This is only the start.
  Tomorrow it all falls apart.
  Take all you can now my friend
  for tomorrows they never end...
    And sorrow, is my friend
    tomorrow's, they never end.
  

Hello Darkness ~ 1999

• Call It Emptiness
  I'll tell a story that's all about you
  in the hopes that someday you'll know just what to do.
  Once upon a time there was this little girl
  she thought that she could fight
  she thought that she could scream!
  Once upon a time there was this little girl
  I could take her life and fill it full of dreams.
  There once was a time I could fill that empty soul,
  fill that empty place, fill that empty hole.
    But love it is so dangerous. Love, we call it emptiness.
    And love, it is too dangerous. Love, it is such loneliness.
  That place is gone inside that little heart
  You saw me deep in there so you tore it all apart.
  Why are you so afraid to let me come inside?
  What has become of you, what's happened to your fight?
  so now when you go to bed and you're lying there at night,
  does that emptiness make everything feel all right?
  So now it ends, and 'forever' seems to fall.
  Are you still this little girl who is happy being small?
    Cause love, it was so dangerous. Love we called it emptiness.
    And love, it was too dangerous. Love, it was such loneliness.
  
• Good-bye!
  Cold and listless I lay
  blown lifeless by this change.
  This sorrow makes my weep.
  My spirit is so weak.
  In a desert feeling lost,
  the pain it colds my thoughts.
  Loneliness I fear but emptiness is here.
  A gentle sad farewell.
  as you slowly lift your spell.
  I think that I could die
  now that you arn't by my side.
  Good luck, farewell
  Good luck, farewell
  Goodbye...goodbye...goodbye.
  
• Five Miles
  5 miles and wandering
  today I am leaving home
  Nothing is keeping me around
  I’d rather be on my own.
  50 miles and wandering
  just hours away from home
  No regrets, no nothing yet
  Finally, I am alone.
    500 miles and wandering
    I’ve run so far today
    Look at me I’m free at last
    Nothing I knew remains.
  Running far, running fast
  I ask myself what have I done?
  No place to call security
  where else can I run?
  Living by my luck, living by chance
  freedom is my enemy
  The road I take is my only means
  to find the way back to me.
    A thousand miles and wandering
    where else can I go?
    Something inside of me is finally free
    and free is all that I know.
  Running back to the place I left
  to find a place lost to me
  I need to know that that place exists
  A place I call security.
  If I was just 5 miles away
  I wouldn’t feel so alone
  I’ve lost something so dear to me
  so I’m running fast back to home.
  
• Gothic Pose
  Tell me what is cool. Tell me where it's at.
  tell me all I need to know to live just like that.
    Oh, slay me with your gothic pose.
  Snakes and spiders, vampire bats.
  Are we all dressed in black?
  Ghouls and goblins,skeletons
  Do we all dance like that?
    slay me, slay me, oh, slay me with your gothic pose.
  Kohl colored liner, cans of Aqua Net,
  transluscent light powder, and we're almost set.
  Sterling silver ahnks, five inch heels,
  dressed in leather (or in velvet), but dressed to kill.
    Come on and slay me with your gothic pose.
    You just slay me with your gothic pose.
  
• The Reason
  
• Hours Passing
  Hours are passing
  Hours are slipping
  slipping through my finger tips.
  Days seem dreary
  Nights are empty
  We’ve fallen somewhere in between.
  Clocks are spinning.
  Smoke is rising.
  Streets are wet from the rain today.
  People are talking
  People are walking
  they do not notice the hour’s passing.
  They’re out of touch
  they’ve lost so much
  they only wonder about their lunch.
  Something is missing
  I am remissing
  I do not remember the hour passing away.
  
• Lingering Doubt
  Blood dripping from a dead man's face.
  His flesh is warm but it's stil too late.
  The man who has killed him has run away.
  He's run away to kill another day.
  His flesh grows stiff with rigor mortis,
  Yet I wonder if he's really lifeless?
  What if we felt all the pains of death?
  What if we really never left?
  You'd feel your blood coagulating.
  You'd feel your organs start decaying.
  The skin is bloated when it starts to shrink,
  The body rotted, starts to stink.
  Insects soon will take their turn
  Maggots surely must enjoy their work.
  There's nine months in growing, nine years in going...
  nine months of birth! nine years in death!
  Lingering Doubts, Lingering Doubts, Lingering Doubts.
  
• When We Pretend
  Shall we pretend to love each other again?
  shall we pretend to keep it together in the end?
  Just take a memory, take a memory and run.
  Take one last look, at your memory, we're done.
  (we fall in love, and we believe...
  we fall in love, then you leave.)
  How do we love when all is broken inside?
  How do we love when our eyes do not cry?
  Shall we pretend?
  How do we love when all is broken inside?
  How do we love when we pretend?
  when we pretend. when we pretend.
  
• Consciousness
  Inner reflections cast by the mirror
  I gaze upon with a growing fear.
  Am I the same that was here yesterday?
  Have I been reborn unto this new day?
  I lament with thoughts like empathy.
  and so I forget with my apathy.
  (I say) There is no God! There is no soul!
  And so they have lost their virtuous control.
  I have my life. I have my self.
  I have my will by no others help.
  And I throw down my reflecting mirror
  out of my own consciousness, fear.

Compilations and other ~ various

• Raw
    Strip down
    Break down
    Fall down
    Stay down
  Touch me if you dare
  put your fingers in my mind
  I wil infect you
  with all that is raw deep inside.
  Here there is no light
  only darkness to discover.
  Here you are exposed
  with your nerves raw forever.
    Strip down
    Break down
    Fall down
    Stay down
  Stand against yourself
  with the trigger to your head.
  Screaming at the world
  just to show them you have bled.
  Put your fist into a wall
  or kick the shit out of it.
  You do not dance
  when your raw from everything.
    Strip down
    Break down
    Fall down
    Stay down
  {I don't want to hear the words you speak
  inside my head or inside my brain.
  I don't want to know the hate you bring.
  I don't want to feel all of your pain.
  Just keep it all outside my world.
  You just can't handle anything
  when you're balled up on the floor,
  when you're just so raw from everything.}